Infinite Choices

The Vlogbrothers once posted a video about growing up and how often teenagers (and ever adults) feel that they have to, like, choose this one Thing that they’re going to do with their whole entire life at the expensive of all other Things. Think doctor, lawyer, professor, whatever. And that once that choice was made the path was set. The other options seal off like that crazy cave door in Harry Potter 6. Anyway. Of course, Hank and John refuted this construct with the example of, yanno, their lives and whatnot. But John admits that options do, indeed, narrow with every choice made. In other words, it’d be pretty darn difficult at 70 to go back and decide you want to be a firefighter. [Cue someone emailing me an article about the grandpa fireman or whatever. Good for them.]

The idea is that before you make any choices, the possibilities are endless.

That’s kind of where I am now.

Recently, my agent and I had a little sit down phone chat in which we discussed my capital ‘C’ Career. Up until now, I’ve focused heavily on ghoswriting. That’s great. I’ve learned so much over the past few years and I regret nothing. But there seems to at last be a consensus that it’s time to focus solely on my own books. Let’s just say, it’s been a long time since I had free reign to pick any idea and/or ideas I wanted and work only on those! But there are, like, infinite ideas! And, okay, so they might not all occur to me at once. But they totally could. Except whenever you start to focus on one, the choices narrow. The other ideas begin to seal off while you work on The One. Granted, more so in writing, than in life, those ideas will always be there to pick up later. But it’s a choice nonetheless. And there’s this fear that you’re not picking the. best. idea. ever.

So, that’s my status. Playing with a bunch of ideas and not quite ready to narrow my options.

But if Nerdfighters taught us anything, it’s that not choosing is a choice as well. And it’s one that still significantly manages to significantly narrow your options.

 

Top Ten Tuesday: Favorite Ficitional Romances

It’s Valentine’s Day Week and it’s been awhile since I participated in a Top Ten Tuesday hosted weekly by The Broke and the Bookish, so I thought this week would be a perfect one to jump right back in. This week’s Top 10 list is…

Top Ten Favorite Fictional Romances (see? how fitting)

But before I dive into my list, I wanted to point out an awesome contest going on at my friend Mandy’s new website, The First Reader. Mandy is launching her new website and blog. You might remember her from Headdesk for Writers. All you have to do is go comment on this post and then you can choose to tweet, follow, etc. for more points. Here’s what’s up for grabs:

Prize Pack #1

  • Days of Blood & Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken
  • The Line by Teri Hall (ARC)

Prize Pack #2 (isn’t it so pretty?)

  • The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson
  • Across the Universe by Beth Revis (original hardcover)
  • Wings by Aprilynne Pike (paperback)

Prize Pack #3

  • The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater
  • Five Flavors of Dumb by Antony John
  • Perception by Kim Harrington (ARC)

I’ll just go ahead and assume that you’re already thanking me for giving you a heads up. And now…onto the list!!

10. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”

9.  Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton from The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.”

8.  Miles Halter and Alaska Young from Looking for Alaska by John Green

“Sometimes I don’t get you,’ I said.
She didn’t even glance at me. She just smiled toward the television and said, ‘You never get me. That’s the whole point.”

7. Amy and Nick from Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (okay, so they aren’t the loveliest of couples, but…)

“And if all of us are play-acting, there can be no such thing as a soul mate, because we don’t have genuine souls.”

6.  Travis and Mary from Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

“Suddenly, all I can think about are all the things I don’t know about him. All the things I never had time to learn. I don’t know if his feet are ticklish or how long his toes are. I don’t know what nightmares he had as a child. I don’t know which stars are his favorites, what shapes he sees in the clouds. I don’t know what he is truly afraid of or what memories he holds closest.”

5. Sam and Kent from Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it.
But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”

4. Tris and Four from Divergent by Veronica Roth

“You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you’re small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you’re wrong.”

3. Anna and Etienne from Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

“Is it possible for home to be a person and not a place?”

2. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

“There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.”

1. Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

“You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

Monday Musings: Naming Characters

Monday Musings is a weekly event hosted by Jen HayleyShana Silver, and Chandler Craig that highlights some aspect of the writing life. Short on blog topics? Everyone is welcome to participate. All we ask is that you link to one of our posts and leave your link in the comments. We’ll provide the following week’s topic by Wednesday of each week.

This week’s topic deals with naming characters.

 

So, I think if you were thinking about the naming of characters logically, you would come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter what you name a character. After all, parents name a child before knowing any aspect of that child’s personality or appearance. So, it doesn’t necessarily make intuitive sense to name a character something “fitting.” Then again, I guess children’s personalities often closely mirror those of their parents. So maybe it makes the most sense to name characters a name that the parent characters would be apt to pick.

But this is where fiction is different than real life. In real life dialogue we know there are plenty of throwaway lines, but in writing fiction, we don’t have that luxury. Naming characters is another place that many times the writer can’t afford to miss an opportunity. Character names are an opportunity to frame a character. J.K. Rowling is probably the master at this tactic – Severus Snape, Dolores Umbridge, Draco Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange…

I mean, come on, in real life (even in wizard life), what are the odds that these people would actually be named these incredibly fitting names from birth? Right. Not very. But it totally works. The names add to the characterization and immediately help the reader picture the character with considerably less description needed.

So how do I come up with character names?

-The best is when one just comes to me and it fits and I know it’s right and would never change it. That’s awesome.

-Sometimes there is a certain culture that I have to pull from in order to use a particular mythology. Then, I have to go in search of names that are culturally accurate but easy to pronounce. There’s nothing worse than stumbling over a character name every. single. time. you read it. (No offense, Tolkein, I still love you.)

-Then, there are the baby name websites. This is my least favorite option, but sometimes a necessary evil. I think it’s easy to get overwhelmed by choices and to get away from the “feel” of the name.

Within my writing process, the naming of characters is very important to nail down before I start writing. Because if I have to change a name, many times I end up losing the essence of the character and, honestly, that character can wind up all muddled.

So in homage to excellent character naming, I give you my top five favorites from fiction:

5. Primrose Everdeen

4. Ruby Oliver

3. Harry Potter

2. Ender Wiggins

1. Bilbo Baggins

 

What are your favorite character names? Any good naming techniques?

Cheat Sheet: 7-Point Story Structure

When plotting, I’m constantly reminded by my writing friends of the Three Act structure. You can think of that in terms of a three act play with setup, rising action and then climax with resolution. To be honest, I still get a bit stumped with this structure, though.  I mean, I get it and all, but when actually putting the nuts and bolts into a story, there just aren’t enough posts for me to hang my narrative. Rather, it ends up being a way for me to go back and check my work. For those of you who are like-minded, I wanted to point out the 7-Point Story Structure.

1. Hook

2. Plot Turn 1

3. Pinch

4. Mid-point

5. Plot Turn 2

6. Pinch

7. Resolution

During the HOOK portion, you want to start your main character out in a position opposite from where the character will end up at the resolution. The easiest way to do this is to start the MC out in a position of weakness. Think Harry Potter living as an orphan under the stairs. What ultimate strength will be earned and uncovered at the climax? Now what is the corresponding weakness?

PLOT TURN 1 should be the call to adventure. (Example from Harry Potter: Magic!)

Use the PINCH to apply pressure and introduce danger.

The MIDPOINT, PLOT TURN 2, and the second PINCH can be shuffled around a bit as needed.

At the MIDPOINT, the MC and friends move from reaction to action. They confront new ideas, learn something and decide to do something about it. This may actually come fairly early in the book. In other words, midpoint does not need to mean “halfway” here.

For PLOT TURN 2, something horrible happens, but now the main character has what he needs. This will move us from trying to succeed to succeeding. The MC despairs, but is then told or realizes, “The power is in you.” Think Star Wars.

In PINCH 2 the plan fails. The MC is confronted by the jaws of defeat. Classic examples include the loss of a mentor and the loss or perceived loss of “everything.” Here the MC is forced to grow up in some way.

The RESOLUTION wraps up in a satisfying way the plot thread. This can be traditional mystery resolutions. A big fight scene. The MC saves the day. Whatever the primary goal of your hero’s plot was. But also think of it in terms of character movement. If the MC began as a rule breaker/loner, he might achieve a more powerful position by becoming a team player in the climax.

The Plot Turn/Pinch structure facilitates the use of TRY/FAIL cycles. The MC should TRY/FAIL at least twice before achieving his goal, otherwise the goal might be too easy for the reader to care. During the course of this, you may use the fails to demonstrate consequences–”Choose wisely or else.”

To include SUBPLOTS, you may overlay the 7-Point Structure, one on top of another. A good rule of thumb is a resolution of one plot comes at the pinch of another. For instance, the MC might manage to do something/to achieve something as another aspect crashes.

I hope this helps! Watch the 5-part video linked above for a full rundown of the method. It’s about 45 minutes total, but well worth it. Something that has helped me add additional fence posts for the narrative is to include interesting “reveals” around or during the plot turns.

What MTV Understands About Young Adult Lit

*Short posts for the next several days because I’m headed to Florida today for an entire week*

…But, as I was lying on my death bed Sunday night (small exaggeration), feeling, well, deathly ill as one does on a death bed, I got to watch an extraordinary amount of MTV and you know what I learned? MTV uses the exact same tactic for successfully targeting teens as most YA authors do.

Okay, so back up for a second. Awhile ago, I read a post by Nathan Bransford defending dead parents in young adult and middle grade fiction. While many critics consider it a major YA cliché unrepresentative of real teen life, Bransford said the trope was defensible since cutting out the parents paved the way for the teen protagonists to take on adult roles—a natural element in YA novels that tend to have coming-of-age type themes.

So, I’m lying in bed, with Shade open on one side (another absent parent book) and MTV on in the background and on comes “True Life: I’m Supporting My Family.” The episode followed young adults whose parents were dead or incapacitated and who had to provide for their large families. And I thought, what better example of kids taking on adult roles than that? No wonder this appeals to the teen audience.

Then there is the new MTV phenomenon “Teen Mom.” Again, teens forced to come-of-age within a short time period and take on an enormous amount of responsibility. Add to that “True Life: I have a parent in prison,” “True Life: I have broke parents,” “True Life: I’m living off the grid,” and “True Life: Married Young” and…I’m sensing a pattern.

So, while I’m not saying you need to kill off the parents in your YA/MG novel, it doesn’t hurt to find a way to force your protagonist to stop depending on adults. The old Dead Dad Syndrome isn’t necessarily lazy. It’s exciting.

*Examples of popular YA/MG stories with dead/absent parents:

Hunger Games
Harry Potter
James and the Giant Peach
The Lion King
Bambi
Island of the Blue Dolphins
Shade
Huckleberry Finn
Dicey’s Song
Coraline

Nerds Like Us

My friend, Jen Hayley, alerted me to this completely amazing quote from author John Green.

‎”Nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff…
Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like
jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. Hank, when
people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like
stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too
enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’.”

Man, how true is that? So for Friday, here are the five things that I am jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-myself excited about because, for the record, John Green, I am totally enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness. I am.

1. Harry Potter. Duh. And it IS Harry Potter 7 release week. So, what have I been doing, you wonder? Listening to MuggleCast, of course. Yes, that’s right, a weekly podcast dedicated to Harry Potter despite the fact that there are no more Harry Potter books forthcoming. Mugglenet? Undeterred. Oh yeah, and in case you missed it, I also already made the trek to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

2. Sci-Fi Classics. If real love is watching the 4.5 hour Dune mini-series, I have it. Because as far as I’m concerned, the SciFi channel had it right. You never can get too much Paul Atreides (Muad’Dib, if you’d rather). You just can’t. And I’m pretty sure I deserve some sort of prize for making through all five in the Children of the Mind series. Where did Bean go, Orson? Where?? Other notables: Foundation, Stranger in a Strange Land, Wrinkle in Time.

 

"If wishes were fishes we'd all cast nets." - Gurney Halleck

3. Lord of the Rings. Little known fact: I’ve read The Hobbit 12 times. Twelve times, people. Plus, I went through that wonderful stage where I thought I was going to learn Elvish and I made a concerted effort until I read Silmarillion and it decided to both kill and enlighten my soul. Don’t even get me started on The History of Middle-Earth.

"Stupid, fat hobbit."

4. Famous Crimes. Alright, whatever, I didn’t want to bold “serial killers.” I know a lot about serial killers. However, I also know a lot about gangs, street families, and what it’s like to live in prison. I have seen every episode of Gangland and MSNBC Lockdown/Up and have read a truly startling number of articles and true crime. Also, I once got really passionate and thought I’d write to people on death row. Turns out they aren’t just looking for people to write them letters…

5. Zombies. Not surprising since this first fell within the category of natural disasters, one of the two categories of movies in which no bad films have ever been made (namely, Natural Disaster & Dance movies).  Zombies are great and once, in Dawn of the Dead, they made a Jay Leno zombie and, as you know, this combines two of my all-time favorite loves. You know what’s great about zombies? They just lumber on toward you and then by sheer numbers win. And you’re always thinking, why didn’t someone nip this problem in the bud before there were, like, a million zombies? We’ll never know. Another great thing is that people start relating zombies to consumerism and whatnot when really I think zombies are only around to eat brains.

"Great minds taste alike."

How to Create Discussion Questions

There has been much discussion recently about whether young adult and middle grade authors are over-marketing to fellow authors and under-targeting the intended first audience. Whether or not that’s true, I have absolutely no clue. But one nice way to engage with the readership is by providing discussion questions. For bigger books, a publisher will often  create the discussion questions and publish them on the book or imprint website, but individual authors may create questions as well. Here are some ideas for making 10-15 questions that will help engage readers in dialogue about a given story.

 

1. Start with the simple. With the first few questions, your goal should be to get the ball rolling. Think about how the actual discussion will unfold. Some readers might be nervous to jump in on the discussion and will appreciate the opportunity to answer some easy questions as well as the reassurance that they are adequately grasping the meat of the book. So, here you might try to ask more “fact-based” questions. For instance, Scholastic in its discussion questions for the Hunger Games asks about the ways in which the Gamemakers control the environment of the Games. With this question, participants can begin listing ways, refreshing their memories and encouraging multiple answers.

2. After a starter question or two, move to the next layer. How does Character X feel about Y? (i.e. How does Katniss feel about the country of Panem?) This sort of question requires a degree of inference from the reader, but encourages readers to support their opinions with evidence from the book.

3. Continue to develop questions whose answers require more inference, more analysis, and greater connection of ideas. What is the significance of the title? Who is truly to blame for such-and-such consequence? How accurate was the narrator’s view of his or herself?

4. Take on the role of the author. Ask discussion participants why the author made X decision? How did that affect the story? Where did the author use foreshadowing? As the author, what would you have changed about the book? Why do you think the author chose the path chosen in the book?

5. Dissect an excerpt. Choose a passage from the book and ask participants to explain its significance. Why were certain words chosen? What is the tone?

6. Connect the story with history. For example, what parallels can be drawn between the Resistance Movement during World War II and the 7th installment of Harry Potter? First provide context about the history being referenced and then help ferret out connections between the two. How might this have influenced the author’s writing of the book? Does the book provide commentary? If so, what? Think about different political movements or about the mythological basis of a story.

 

What questions do you find interesting when thinking back on a book read? What sorts of statements or questions best instigate conversation among teens?

Notes from “A Year in the Life of JK Rowling”

I watched a documentary on JK Rowling and the year she spent finishing the final book in the Harry Potter series and experiencing the release of the fastest selling book in history. Nothing earth-shattering, but it was still interesting to hear some of her insights. After all, she’s one of the most successful and beloved authors ever and yet she still expressed many of the same concerns as my very own author buddies.

I took notes and, while I won’t take time gathering them into any sort of thought-out essay right now, I did want to share what I wrote down. Hope you find these helpful:

-When asked what quality defined her Rowling said that, above all, she’s a “trier.”

-Jo was drafting the final book. She was typing and periodically checking her notes. She got to a part and she looked up and started giggling. She explained that she wrote in the margin, “This will take serious planning.” She cursed and said she had no idea what she meant but that she was certainly right!

-To finish the final chapters Jo locked herself in a hotel room. When she finished editing those chapters there was an awkward pause like she didn’t know what to do next. She just said it was done and shrugged. It was quite unceremonious.

-Right after she completed the series she told the interviewer candidly: “Some people will loathe it. That’s as it should be. For some people to love it, others must loathe it…so much expectation from the hardcore fans.” Despite this, she said that she was really, really happy with it. She liked it and admitted that she doesn’t always feel that way about her writing.

-The narrator of the documentary began commenting on the manuscript’s journey after completion. He remarked, “The process all seems so normal,” then proceeds to explain how the manuscript is printed out, taken in person to Jo’s agent Christopher Little in London. There was then a handover at Heathrow airport in a locked suitcase…ummm…what does this narrator thinks normally happens with books??

-Jo says she wished more than anything to be published and more than anything to be a writer. But it never occurred to her in a million years people would search her trash or try to interview her oldest friends or her scrutinize her children.

-At the film premiere of Order of the Phoenix she talks about how she’s expected to be like a film star but she’s a writer. Some of it’s fun and some of it’s horrible. Fun to talk to people who have read the books. Difficult to do the stagey stuff. She’s not very good at it and that doesn’t make her a better person because she’s not good at that. It’s just that people expect her to be visibly enjoying herself and sometimes she comes off as looking miserable.

-When she gets stressed, she detaches and only trusts one person, herself. Everyone else gets locked out and she has to do everything herself. I wonder if she has crit partners, etc. Probably just her agent at this point, right?

-She has trouble dealing with the level of expectation but ultimately decided it’s the best she could do and that’s how she planned it to end all along, so it was going to have to be good enough.

-At the book’s release party: “Doesn’t really matter if I get a bit drunk and disorderly; I finished the book.”

-She chose the ending because to her, personally, the most courageous thing a person could do was to climb back to normality. It’s just harder to rebuild, she says, than to destroy. ***SPOILER*** Would have been a neater ending to kill him, but it would have been a betrayal. He was her hero and had to do the most heroic thing in her eyes, rebuilding post-tragedy–both on a macro- and micro-level.

-Writers always have to know more than they put in.

-As the documentary wrapped up, Jo drew a family tree for the survivors of the series. She said writing the series was like running a race, she was going too fast and couldn’t stop. That’s why she had to keep thinking about who would make up the next generation. She wants her version of who ended up with whom, etc. to be the official version because it’s her world. And even though she doesn’t want to write anymore Harry Potter, she still thinks she should have the final say on that.

-Now Hollywood comes to her. When execs came to discuss the creation of a Harry Potter theme park she said that when she is sitting in a roomful of people trying to impress her, that is when she feels the most fraudulent.

-At the time she started writing the series she had made such a mess of her life. It was stripped down. It was freeing. She wanted to write a book, so she did. What was the worst that could happen? She got rejected? Ok.

-She visited the apartment where she began Book 1. A new family lives there and in her old room she sees her published books on the shelves. She admits its a big yawn to hear because hers is such a well-worn story by this point, but it’s her life and she didn’t expect that there would be a fairytale resolution.

-She’s now writing a story she describes as a political fairytale for older children. She’s not in a hurry to publish since she’s lived 10 years with deadlines. Now no one is expecting it or knows anything about it. It’s just like writing Sorcerer’s Stone. She can just relax.

-When asked if she feels lucky she says that having the idea was lucky. She implies the rest was work.

-She feels like less of a fraud as she gets older. She’s a born trier. Still writes because she loves it and needs it. Wants to be remembered as someone that did the best she could with the talent she had.

Saturday/Sunday Six

Started writing this on Saturday, finished on Sunday….

 

One. I finished finals! It’s not pretty, but I made it through. I’m pretty sure that people are not meant to be stationary 24 hours a day. I spent the last three weeks watching myself getting increasingly pale and seeing my muscles visibly atrophy. Lovely. I’m extremely excited to work out and photosynthesize now that I’m done!

 

Two. I made a commitment to take a writing hiatus the second half of this semester. School-wise I think it paid off, but I was happy to find that I really missed writing. In fact, today I was eager to start right in a revision and got 600 new words out. I know that’s not a ton, but after vowing that I wouldn’t let the computer melt my eyeballs for at least another week, I took this as a sign that writing is something I truly love and want to do. I’m happy to be back! 

 

Three. Something else that comes with finishing finals is…Reading!!! I got to start Melissa Marr’s Fragile Eternity this morning. My signed copy has been staring me in the face for about a week now. I think I caught a tiny sort of spoiler earlier today on one of my message boards, so that was frustrating. But, I’m still excited to finish. Still looking for suggestions for my summer reading list, though. Feel free to suggest. I’m already planning on Rachel Vincent’s Shifter series. Other than that, though, I’m wide open. My To Be Read List just got so out-of-control that I lost track of where books were on the list. So oh well. Starting a new list.

 

Four. I’ve had a brainwave. I ran it by my agent and am very excited to be adding a solid mythological basis to my WIP. I have never been one for serious amounts of research, but I have to tell you, I might be a convert! I love researching Native American lore and I think it is adding a more textured justification for my paranormal beings. I’m proud that I was able to keep an open mind and figure out what would make my fictional universe more cohesive. Hopefully I can pull it off! 

 

Five. The Harry Potter movie is quickly approaching and I have serious ants in my pants. Book People in Austin is hosting a Harry Potter Explosion event in June where the Whomping Willows and the Remus Lupins are playing. I can’t go because I’ll be working in Dallas. But if y’all can go, I’ll be jealous/happy for you.


Six. In the next week I’ll be posting reviews on Illegal by Paul Levine and Fragile Eternity amongst others I’m sure. I’ll be continuing what I learned at Agent/Editor Day. I also have a few other fun things planned. So, I’m looking forward to it. Have a great Sunday.

An Open Letter To the Significant Others of Writers On Sub

April 8, 2009

Dear Significant Others of Writers on Submission,

We know you are always trying to say the right thing, to be supportive, and to deal with our writerly nuttiness. Thank you. We appreciate your awesomeness. We really do. But sometimes we can’t help but think you need a little help in the what-not-to-say department. So since writers on sub can be a bit, well, testy–hey, you try checking your email 3,542 x per day–I’d love to help you not get your eyes clawed out or, at the very least, avoid sticking your foot in your mouth. S0und good? Great. 

First rule is that we need to be able to talk about the publishing world almost 24/7. Most girls follow celebrities on Twitter. We follow editors. And we scrutinize the publishing rumor mill more than Perez Hilton does the dysfunctional relationship that is Speidi. We know you want to change the subject because, despite what our internet communities tell us, we guess that the whole world is not fascinated by how books are made. We know this. But we can’t stop our mouths from talking about it. So, please, just let us run ourselves out of new information. Pretty please?

Second, there is this thing called Publishers Marketplace. And on it, we see all the new deals that are made each day. If you’re a Significant Other, I guess you already know this. But anyway, there is probably going to be a day when we see a new deal posted whose premise sounds suspiciously close to ours. This revelation will be followed closely by a meltdown. So, when we come to you and tell you that all is lost because so-and-so book just sold and it sounds exactly like ours don’t–I repeat–Do. Not. Say, “That does sound a lot like yours!” Or any variation thereof. Books aren’t patents, ok? Remind us that there is Twilight and Vampire Academy and House of Night and all of them, at the exact same time, do just fine. Repeat after me: “It’s all in the execution.” 

As a short interlude, I’d like to arm you with a few key phrases that will serve you well throughout this difficult time: “Your agent loved it, someone else will, too;” “It only takes one;” “I’ve read it and it’s fabulous;” “Even Harry Potter was rejected a couple times!”  Pair those with, “Here, honey, have a glass of wine” or the almost equally powerful, “Here, honey, have some chocolate” and you will be well prepared.

Now, that we have created an essential toolbox of sorts, let’s move onto something you absolutely must not say. Please do not “helpfully” remind us that it takes some authors years and years to get published. In our little heads, though we won’t say it aloud, we secretly hope that our book will sell overnight. We certainly are not thinking that after coming this far it will take years. We categorize that as a “cross that bridge when we come to it” type conversation. ‘Nuff said.

Writers are trained to ask “what if…” by trade. What if this happened to this character? What if that happened next? So, yeah, there is a fair bit of, What if I ended up at this publishing house? What if The Call comes today? Don’t remind us that we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us plan how we will celebrate and look at where our book would fit on the shelf. That’s what has kept us writing up to this point!

Finally, please, oh, please do not make us part with our cellphones! We’re going to sit with it out everywhere we go and turning it to silent and keeping it under the table on dates is really, really hard, so try to appreciate that. You ask what would happen if we didn’t find out the good–or bad–news at the exact moment it was available–Ok, you have a point there. I’m not sure what exactly would happen. But it would be bad, we just know it. So, while we have not exactly thought out what would happen if our agent or editor called while we were on the potty, we’d figure it out. Trust us. 

Thank you for listening, friends, and may your writer have a quick sale! 

Yours Truly, 

Us