If I were a literary agent I’d wear six inch stilettos, don a sexy pair of designer glasses, and keep my Amazon Kindle peeking out of my hot pink Kate Spade at all times.
I’d keep a blog that kept thousands of writers hanging on my every last word, even if just mentioning the song playing on my iPod right now.
My form rejection would be at least two paragraphs because that’s how long it takes to explain what subjective means to a writer. I’d use the greeting, “Dear Author.”
The submission guidelines on my website–if I decided to have one–would be cryptic and would involve a riddle.
And I’d represent juvenile fiction. Whether that included picture books and children’s literature, you’d have to figure out yourself. But it wouldn’t.
It would include only YA and middle grade and, more specifically, only urban fantasy, high fantasy, science fiction, and dark, edgy contemporary. If you thought Wicked Lovely was dark and edgy, you’d be wrong and I’d send you a rejection stating that I just wasn’t “enthusiastic” enough about your project. Because, you see, if I were a literary agent, I wouldn’t have a lot of enthusiasm to throw around.
So, what would YOU represent if you were a literary agent?
To read Jay’s take on this week’s Topical Tuesday, click here.
Also, don’t forget to check out yesterday’s post so that you can participate in the blog scavenger hunt for a chance to win Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle!
Status: I got a real life writing job! A job, I tell you! Writing for a role playing video game. They’d pay me and everything. But guess what? I don’t think I can take it. With law school fast approaching I need to save myself for opportunities that I can’t live without. And if something else unbelievable came up, I wouldn’t be able to take it if I wrote for the video game.
Also, if SCOUT found a home, I’d be in big trouble. Anyway, it’s nice to feel wanted.
I finished Chosen, the third book in the House of Night series. It was sooo good! But now I’m stuck waiting for the next installment, which comes out later this fall. Oh well. I’ll get more writing done!
On today’s agenda? Writing and submissions.